Taming the Monkey Mind: How I Learned to Stop Overthinking and Focus Better By Sfurti Sahare Overthinking can feel like intelligence at work. That was my belief for years. I thought the more I analyzed, replayed conversations, and anticipated future outcomes, the more I was staying ahead. But what I didn’t realize was this: I wasn’t solving problems. I was spinning in place. My mind had become a jungle of thoughts — fast, loud, and chaotic. It wasn’t focused. It was restless. I later came to define this state as the “monkey mind.” In my book The Monkey Theory, I explore how our thoughts can act like wild monkeys — jumping from past regrets to future worries, from fear to perfectionism. This blog is a practical extension of that idea — and a guide to anyone who wants to regain control of their mental focus. 1. Identify the Monkey That’s Hijacking Your Mind Not all overthinking is the same. Sometimes we replay failures. Sometimes we fear making the wrong move. Other times, we just can’t stop planning the future. That’s why I created four categories of “monkeys” in The Monkey Theory: ● The Fear Monkey – paralyzes you before starting anything new ● The Doubt Monkey – constantly questions your abilities ● The Perfection Monkey – delays action in the name of getting it “just right” ● The Distraction Monkey – keeps shifting your attention every five minutes The first step to taming your mind is to identify the dominant monkey. Ask yourself: “What am I thinking right now?” “Is this helping me or holding me back?” Naming the thought pattern brings awareness — and awareness brings power. 2. Give Your Monkey a Purpose You can’t force your mind to be quiet. But you can guide it. What helped me was a simple daily ritual I call the “1-minute thought dump.” Before I start my day, I grab a journal and let my mind pour out whatever it wants — fears, ideas, doubts, dreams — no judgment. Once the monkey has spoken, I redirect it: “Okay, let’s now focus on just one thing.” It could be something small — replying to an email, reading a page, or finishing a task. Giving your monkey a job shifts it from chaos to clarity. From wild to wise. 3. Anchor Your Attention in the Present Most overthinking exists in two time zones: ● The past, where regret lives. ● The future, where anxiety waits. But focus — real focus — lives only in the present. When I feel overwhelmed, I use a tool I teach in my talks: “Anchor & Breathe” 1. Anchor your senses to something real — a sound, a breath, or physical touch. 2. Take three slow breaths. 3. Come back to now. Even 15 seconds of this can reset your mental rhythm. It’s not about removing all thoughts — it’s about returning to what matters. Again and again. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years — and what I now teach: The mind isn’t your enemy. It’s your most powerful ally… when trained. Overthinking isn’t a flaw. It’s an untrained habit. And like any habit, it can be changed. The secret isn’t silence — it’s self-leadership. You don’t stop the monkey from jumping. You teach it where to land. So the next time your thoughts start spiraling, pause. Ask yourself: Which monkey is active right now? What would I rather focus on instead? Then, take a breath. And lead your mind — gently, but clearly — back to peace. 📘 Want to go deeper? This blog is inspired by my book The Monkey Theory, where I dive deep into the psychology of mindset, emotion, and how to lead yourself better every day. If you’d like weekly mental clarity tools from me, join my newsletter — where I share 3 quick ideas to strengthen your mind and simplify your life.
